Jay Random ([info]meta4mix) wrote,
@ 2004-11-09 05:57:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Oki Syndrome in its later, malignant stages
Staying off of AIM/IRC/ICQ has proven astoundingly easy. Getting myself to do what I need to do instead has proven more difficult. The problem is not remedied by removing the symptom. *>

It's been several days, coming up on two weeks, that I've been off that "anxiety program", and already it's astounding just how much I've regressed. I find myself wanting to "stop" (that is, existing) again, at least more strongly than I did during the short time I was keeping up with the program. That's not seeking suicide, Kyle, that's just wishing I'd dissolve or something.

Ugh. How can simple, silly things like speeches and getting a job be so scary, how hard is it to believe that I'm actually supposed to go out and participate in life instead of just sitting back and watching it develop, and how can I be fooling myself into feeling so calm about this?

*>

(Post a new comment)


[info]codepoetica
2004-11-09 06:42 am UTC (link)
Originally, I was going to comment here, but this became a psudo-trackback.

Carpe Noctum

(Reply to this)


[info]grlnxtr
2004-11-09 06:54 am UTC (link)
Why did you stop doing the program?

Speeches suck. I understand the value of being able to publicly speak, but speeches are horrible. Getting a job also sucks. These are things that are not simple...Perhaps you need to find something of a happy medium - there's nothing wrong with not always actively participating in life, so long as you're not avoiding doing it because you're afraid to try. Which, I suspect, is the issue here, and I have no advice for that. I used to be very very shy, and I'd get frustrated with myself when I was too afraid to speak up in class or talk to someone. I just had to grow into my skin a little bit, but the growing process was scary and it, like jobs and speeches, sucked.

(Reply to this)


[info]th3ch4d
2004-11-09 09:23 am UTC (link)
You are able to , as you so elegantly put it, "fool" yourself into being so calm about it because even though you're nervous, which is normal, you know that this is a normal part of life and there really is nothing to be afraid of. There are no penelties for failing in a job interview. You just move onto the next one, or, maybe the next one, until you finally get a job.

The only fear you feel comes from the change in normallcy a new job will bring, even though it will indeed be better for you in long run.

Trust me on this.

(Reply to this)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…